Monday, December 30, 2013
Things That Piss Me Off
The Elf on the Shelf. WTF? A cheap, creepy-faced little doll spies on the whole family all day and sneaks back to HQ at night to report on whether you're naughty or nice. (Don't we have the NSA for that?) Worse, it comes alive and moves around the house when nobody's looking. Talk about The Nightmare Before Christmas.
NPR. I love NPR. It's one of the very few sources I trust, and I have it on all the time. But couldn't there be some kind of pleasant topic interwoven into the daily dose of depression? Something other than the muck and mire of American politics, the desperation of wars in faraway places, the endless litany of terrible things about which I can do absolutely nothing...keep those, yeah, because somebody has to do actual journalism. But even I need a breather in between stories, a momentary shelter from the shitstorm. Anything will do. I'll even take a little news from from Lake Woebegon.
Cannibalistic commercials. I find it disturbing that the cute little Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces are eating each other. I don't think I could stand having a whole box of them on my shelf, because I'd always be imagining the horrors taking place within. And I don't think it's funny to watch the little M&M guys being lured to their doom, fighting for their lives while being stuffed into ovens, and especially the one having his brain devoured by voracious women (who are not even zombies). "It hurts! But I kinda like it" he says. It hurts. I don't like it. Ditto all the happy, singing cows, chickens, and pigs selling beef, chicken, and pork products. Epic Ewww.
No point here. I'm just saying.