Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Coming soon to a theater near you

Throngs of moviegoers set sail last weekend in search of Cap'n Jack Sparrow. Alas, we were not among them. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End looks like a lot of fun, and we were all set to go at one point.

So, you might ask, what happened? Well, Son the Younger flat refused to go to the theater because, and I quote, "I never enjoy it. There's always somebody talking, or kicking my seat, or yelling at the screen, and I just hate that. I'd rather wait for the video." Mind you, this is a kid who wants to go to film school.

When people like Son the Younger announce they're done with the theater experience, the industry is in some deep trouble. And theaters are finally taking notice.

Regal Theaters is now providing regular customers with a "snitch" device to alert management to the presence of evildoers in the audience.

Sounds like a good idea, but there's no word yet on what management will do, exactly, in response to the alarm. Rowdies and bag rustlers in the audience are annoying, but they're small potatoes compared to incursions of enforcers bent on hauling out the perpetrators. And do the snitches get a security detail to defend them against being pelted with popcorn and JuJu Bees?

Of course, if you came for drama you could consider the ruckus to be a bonus. I know at least one young snitch who'd gladly risk it.

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