All Saints Day

I am not a Catholic, but I like the idea of saints.

My first real awareness of them came shortly after we moved to this area. Catholic neighbors trying to sell their houses bury little statues of Saint Joseph in their yards, facing away from the house. When the house is sold, they dig him up and take him with them to the new home. They swear he gets the job done.

It would be nice to think that some kindly spirit or other was out there to talk to, and maybe to lend a hand. Somebody who was once one of us, and who understands that life on earth ain't easy. (Yes, yes, I know. Jesus. But as the incarnation of Yahweh, he was never exactly one of the boys, was he.)

I wouldn't mind having a pleasant, holy-ish spirit friend; a minor deity of sorts, one who wouldn't afflict me with boils or plagues or anything.

A quick Internet search brought me to Catholic Online - Saints & Angels, where I discovered there are hundreds and hundreds of 'em. Wow. Who knew? There is even a list of Popular Saints, presumably the "cool kids' table" of the spirit world. I imagine they're pretty busy. And I doubt they'd be caught dead consorting with a backslid Presbyterian.

No, what I need is a small, thoughtful saint who might welcome a little attention. One with some extra time on his or her hands. Back to the Internet for a search on "obscure saints":

Topping the results list is Michael Kelly's Page of Misery: Saints, which is funny as hell but not to be clicked upon if you are easily offended. (Consider yourself warned. Do not email me.)

An entry or two down in Google is the delightful, quirky Saints in Paper Maché. The artist is Canadian Kate Hodgson. Of her collection she says, "Holy folk, who excelled in life or overcame great obstacles are heroes. I think they deserve a little more shelf space in our everyday lives." I can agree with that.

Among her subjects is Saint Zita, reputed to be a kind and generous soul who, refreshingly enough, was not too horribly abused in life and did not end up being tortured to death. She's a patron saint of homemakers, among other things. Hm. Zita might do. I'll let you know.

*Update, November 2: Indeterminacy says, "I wonder why a patron saint of the Internet hasn't been named yet, but I'm sure it will be done soon." which made me wonder, too. Well, the wait is over. Looks like the Vatican assigned the job to Saint Isidore of Seville. Now there's a useful saint.